Dear Friends,

I have spent much of my time here on the west coast trying to figure out why I chose to come back in the first place. I never intended to be 24 and living dependently on my parents. I spent many nights in the company of soft, scented candle lights with a blank page in front of me and question after question inside of me. My purpose for being here is not as clear as it was in theory. Or at least has changed from what I thought it would be. And so I decided that perhaps it would be best to dive head first into that cool, blue bottle of Bombay Sapphire while breathing in the potent essence of Ming.

I would have continued on with this tradition of midnight flings with a bottle of gin and those one-night stands with Ming. But I'm better than that, I refuse to drowned in the enticing arms of intoxication. Though it may seem like it at the time, intoxication is not a time machine and only seems to speed up time because in reality you're losing those precious moments to the bottle and the joint. Never memorable, never worthwhile.

I once wrote on a fridge using magnetic words: "most people see cause and effect, never framing each brilliant moment as one beautiful poem." And as much as I hate to admit it, the past two months have been focused on figuring out the cause of why it is I am back here. Instead I should frame each moment I am back here in gold, because this is an experience that I'll never have again.

I've always prided myself on being someone who lives life with no regrets. Every decision, regardless of whether it is good or bad, has been one that I at the moment made. And for that very reason, it must be concluded that yes in retrospect the other decision may have been better, but in that one moment in time the decision I made was the best decision for me.

Moreover, we as human beings are cursed, trapped in a cruel game, playing round after round of yearning for something better. They say the grass is greener on the other side, but usually this isn't the case. Any thinking and breathing being must to some extent agree with that statement.

And so here I am, waiting patiently for the next nine days to pass, living life through rose coloured glasses. I sit calmly now imagining that someday the grass on this side will look, feel and taste as lush as the grass on the other side. But until then, all I have are my words to frame each moment of my life here.

One day, soon I hope, we'll be having tea in a cozy kitchen somewhere laughing, talking, philosophizing and sharing that same green grass that we've all been yearning for from the other side. Until then take care my friends!

All my Love,
Jones Larsop